open_broken

openness and brokenness

do you know what it takes?

do you know what they mean?

do you realize what your life could be with them?

what would you be willing to do to have them in your life?

This weekend is about learning the importance of having those two words in your life. Paul and Jenny Speed have a beautiful story that consists of those two words. They are here in Indianapolis for a long weekend singles conference. They have been sharing their stories, though they are hard ones they still are just an awesome display of His power. They have been painting a picture of complete freedom through being open and broken. Their website shares alot about who they are and what their lives are about http://www.witministries.com/

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uʍopǝpısdn

So many things happen but none of it surprises Him. He knows all that is happening and will happen. It seems like life is perfect just the way it is and then BAM it is shakin and turned upside downa nd inside out. You are sitting there in shock and wondering what just happened. After a while you could get really angry at what just happened...you could look at the world that is now upside down and get so frustrated because it doesnt look how it should. But who has ever said that it is supposed to look that way? You can start to look at things in a different perspective and see beauty in it. Thats what has happened to me. I am sitting in a world that has totally been flipped upside down. At first I was in the shock stage and didnt know what to think, then I started to realize what happened and it was so strange looking at things upside down. I came to a cross road in where I could've become angry and bitter or take the perspective path. Anger and bitterness gets you no where fast so here I am looking for what He wants to show me. I am going to cling to the promise that there will be a dawn. Even if the rising of the sun is going to be the setting of it, I will still hold on to Him.

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green

By The Gentle Waters
By the gentle waters, you will safely lead meIn green pastures feed me, knowing what is best.Though I often stray, wander far away,I can hear You say, " Come to Me and rest."Though the path be rough and rugged,Though the trail be dark and steep,Still the gentle Shepherd watches o'er His sheep.There's no need to fear when the Shepherd's near.When Your voice I hear, I find comfort sure.Free from all alarm, sheltered from all harm,Safely in Your arms, I can rest secure.With the flock abiding, all my needs supplying,Comforting and guiding, leading all the way, all the way.Jesus, loving Shepherd, You'll forsake me never.In your flock forever, I am not alone.Though the darkness hide me, You are close beside me.Gentle Shepherd, guide me 'til I'm safely home.

He is so awesome. Today I was reading in ‘Streams in the Desert’, it was about being still. In the writings it says something so profound- “God was waiting in the depths of my being to talk to me if I would only get still enough to hear His voice”. It went further talking about how this person had tried to become ‘still’, but the more and more they tried the more noise seemed to take over and consume them. He says to be still and know that He is God. Things will try and bombard you with business and anxiety, yet He is still saying “Be still”. The page ended with this being said “But as dew never falls on a stormy night, so the dews of His grace never come to the restless soul”. Then he spoke through mom, she said something about resting. The reason she brought it up was because I was telling her why I was just doing ‘ok’. The reason I gave was because I was just sitting at a desk, when I could be mowing grass or building skids. She said that He makes us to lie down in green pastures. It hit me; I started to see that sitting in this desk chair is His way of making me lie down. However, instead of resting I have been looking around at the grass and seeing that “O dear, it needs to be cut” or “Maybe I should go do some weeding to make it more pleasant” Instead of just letting Him minister to me I have been to busy seeing what I could be doing instead of just being. He wants us to rest and move beyond the silence and solitude. He wants me to soak it up, rest in Him. There is this book that my director let me borrow; it is called ‘Invitation to Silence and Solitude’ by Ruth Haley Barton. I have only read part through the introduction, but its ok-there is no rush J

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blameless

so after I read what my friend wrote I asked God to tell me more, this is what He told me.

The prodigal guy-he went out and partyed. First of all I wonder if his dad knew before time that his son was going to sqaunder it all, I think maybe he did but he loved him so much that this must have been the time that he determined something in his mind.That something was this- He was determined that his love was going to be unconditional. I think that he was waiting for his son to return as he watched his sons back leave from home. He was waiting with such anticipation, he had to of because when his son did return there was no hesitation on the fathers part to welcome him back. So when the son is out and about living to the hilt his father had to of heard about it. Word must somehow of gotten back to the family, cause his brother knew. However, the father did not let condemnation come into his mind about his son. He choose to see him as perfect and with out fault. Ok, the guy is in a mess-literally…I wonder what went through his mind. He had to have seen himself- he saw the filthiness, he smelled the stench, he had to of known that this was the bottom of the bottom. He had to have been thinking about how much he wanted to go back,but how could he ever?! He must have also known that the word had gotten around-it had to of reached his father. How he must have struggled with the very thought of going back. As he was walking back thoughts must have been torturing him-condemnation overwhelming him. He was, in his mind, so unworthy. Maybe if he could just go back and offer himself as someone that would not be connected with the family, he could serve-work-he would never consider calling himself his father’s son. All the sudden he is thrown out of this mindset as he is engulfed by two strong arms…words try to come out-he tries to plead, No! I know where I have been, I know what I have done..I know who I should be considered now. Yet here is the other side of it- his father has been waiting, watching- all with anticipation. (its like waiting for UPS to drop off a package you have been knowing will come-ok maybe it’s a lot more than that J) He knew his son would return. He ahd been straining his eyes-just waiting to catch a glimsp of the form of his beloved son. He sees him-the joy and energy that must have overcome him! He takes off full speed(at least that’s what I picture) goes to embrace his lost son. He knows what has happened, yet he is giving his son a new identity-he throws a robe on him-a robe of righteousness. How it works is that our old selves are putrid…the only way we can be considered holy and blameless is this- when we have a new identity put upon us. The son had an identity all picked out, he thought it was the only way to come back-yet when his father put on that robe HE was determining his sons new identity. He was proclaming to every one that his son was to be considered without fault. That is what HE does for us-he knows where we have been and even where we are, yet when the we run home to him he covers us with his robe-our identity is now determined by Him-he says we are and so therefore we are. I think it also has to do with the three amigos…they all worked together in unison and perfectly.
Basically that is what can be put into words but it so so much more than that…

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holy

This was written to me from one of my friends when i brought up the question of how could we ever be considered Holy and Blamless in Gods eyes. Here it is-
1 Peter 1:14-16 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."
This next passage is a long one but once I started reading I couldn’t cut it any shorter, the truth is powerfully real here….
Colossians 1:3-29 3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, 4 since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, 5 because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel, 6 which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and growing- as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth, 7 just as you learned it from Epaphras our beloved fellow servant.1 He is a faithful minister of Christ on your2 behalf 8 and has made known to us your love in the Spirit. 9 And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12 giving thanks1 to the Father, who has qualified you2 to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by1 him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. 21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation1 under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister. 24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, 25 of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26 the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.
So God started to break this down…
Christ took in Himself all of creation, human and non-human. At the cross redeeming all in Himself to the Father. Therefore all things have been redeemed/ bought back by Father to Himself.
No man/woman or any created thing for that matter, does Father see outside of His Son, His Son being in Him, therefore no thing outside of Himself. Hence any declaration of His own character is also His declaration of who He sees us to be. Therefore all men/women whether saved or unsaved is forgiven and redeemed, they are pure, holy, blameless, and righteous.
Remember in “The Shack” Papa says, that we cannot live like we are unloved unless we live in a reality of being loved. It’s the same way, we cannot live un-holy, un-blameless, or un-righteous unless the each of those things exist in fullness and reality.
Nothing we can do or not do, can change the reality that we are holy, blameless and righteous. We can however, most often displayed in our actions and attitudes, live like we are un-holy, un-blameless, and un-righteous.
So basically it boils down to accepting reality and then living in accordance with it. Which is who God is the I AM, He is what is. We rejecting Him by fleshly nature choose to live outside of what is and live in what is not.
In the garden when mankind ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he ceased to know no longer solely good (God lk 18:19) and there eyes were opened to the realm of evil, what is not. It’s a view of deduction and negativity by nature for it must reduce everything to be outside of God. And it is in this reality of seeing, but not truly seeing, for we are seeing what is not, rather than what is.
In God’s commission of Paul He speaks to Him of one of the primary reasons for which He is sending him out. The opening of the eyes.
Acts 26:18 18 to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'
It’s the turning from seeing what is apart from God (Light), therefore darkness. And having our eyes opened to truly see by Light (God) , goodness (God). Him revealing Himself.
-kinda a sub-point under this is the fact that forgiveness is also a reality, the preaching of the gospel is not the preaching of the recognition of condemnation and the need for forgiveness, but rather the reality of the declaration of forgiveness given, that needs only to be received.
Now why does He say these things about us when He knows that we choose to live outside of them? in order to empower us to live within them. Apart from the declaration of them being reality we don’t even have the option to live within them, cause apart from Him they don’t exist. He has taken us and everything else for that matter into Himself and said “live like we are all together in me, cause we are.”

Alright sorry, I kinda got on a bit of a roll there… all that to say why God says we are those things when so often we live like they are not true.
….getting back on track how does that affect me and how I live.
Drastically, but amazingly passively.
Everything He has said about us is also a declaration of Himself and all those things are impossible outside of Himself cause they don’t exist and they are also intricately a part of Himself. They are Him. Therefore the only way for me to truly receive those things is to receive Him, and live as if I truly abide in Him
John 15:1-11 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
-Notice He calls all men branches regardless of whether they choose to abide or not, they are in Him and part of Him yet they choose to not abide in Him.
-Then He says if you keep my commandments (me getting in Him the Word living and written and therein marinating) it is thereby that we abide both in His love but also in Him cause He is Love.
I have absolutely no responsibility to be holy, blameless, or righteous, apart from accepting it as true and then choosing to abide in Him by abiding in the Word, and then out of me/us will flow rivers of Life (Him). Thereby fulfilling His declaration of us.

Don’t know if any of this made sense, but I think it’s a start in the right direction….
You are Holy, Righteous, and Blameless, live in the Joy (your strength) of your Lord =D

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jump

Its been a while since my fingers have hit the keyboard. Well, its been busy-crazy busy. Since Big Sandy there was a tsunami that hit ATI and it carried us into Nashville. Alot of people were sick(me being included in that) and are just getting better. Coming up is the final ATI conference of this season, it will be held in Sacramento. A journey has come and gone, new people have done the same, and summer is fast approaching. There has been a torrent of birthdays that have happened in the past month or so. We have been to the beach, to the city, to Holland, and to the International plaza.

He has been so good, I may not had amazing days every day, but He is still SO awesome! I really dont ever think I have anything to complain about that really matters. I dont know what He is gong to continue to do throughout this year but it will be amazing no matter what it is :)

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filled

Thick, humid, heavy- imagine breathing that in. It is almost like you are swimming in the air. Picture this-white shirts and navy skirts, red carpeting, and sweaty suits. You can see the humidity in the air, you can hear the little feet racing to see what is behind the blue curtains. If you have never experienced it before you can't really know exactly what it is like. There is something though that maybe you have experienced. It blows over you, goes through you and settles inside of you. It overwhelms you and you are filled up. There is nothing like it, once you have experienced it you will want to continue in it over and over again. What is it? Well some of you may already know what I am talking about. For those of you that do not know let me tell you. It is His presence-His Spirit. It is indescribable, I can't tell you what it is like to be filled with Him. It is completeness, filled with joy, and such a peace and then there is also this explosion of fullness. He just shows up and. It is so awesome because He is part of God, he is God and so you are filled with God. I know that it may not make sense to you but I just can't really tell you. He is waiting to do it for you and the you will know what i am trying to tell you.

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RATI

How can I keep from smiling?! I have not been able to stop smiling and let this joy go away. God has been so good. I am here in Big Sandy-Texas. Yes, things are much bigger here in Texas!!! What is going in Texas? Well it is the Regional ATI Conference. Basically it is a conference for all the home schooling families. People come from all around to meet for four days of training from Mr. Gothard. We have roughly 2,000 attending this year. The theme this year is 'Life Purpose with Power to Win!' The speakers, besides Mr. Gothard, include the Hogans, Bates, Tom Harmon, Jim Sammons, Steve Green (founder of Hobby Lobby), Joel Robbins, the Speeds, Warners, Bill Federer, the Duggar family, Bernie Reese, Jon Burnham, Jim Logan, Karl Coke, George Mattix, Roger Magnuson, and Otto Koning. As you might have seen, the Duggar family is here(so 18 kids) along with the Bates family(17 kids) and the Pearrow family (11 kids) Just imagine the sight of that and then imagine tons of families around that size all in one place!!!

Even a midst all the books, tennis shoes, strollers, suits and hustle, God is lavishing out His love. I see Him do it everywhere I turn. I can't get away from it. He has bee showing me how to love like Him. I didn't think that i would ever have the ability to, but He wrote it all out for me and now that I know how it can be done it has me so excited!! If you want to find out how to really love read 1 Corinthians 13. See how He tells you to love and yes, you may have read it lots of times before, but see how you can APPLY it!

I really like how the KJV says it-calling love charity...anyways, enjoy!

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Sarah

None of the following is written by me- i received this in an email from my friend. I normally don't like to put up certain viewpoints...but htis one really was written well and I was able to understand it very well. I hope you all enjoy :)

As I started writing to the guys based on their answers, the note kept growing and growing. So I've decided to do a note to guys and another to girls. I'm not tagging anyone in this note to help with the anonymity of the survey.If you’re reading this and you filled out my little survey, thanks a bunch! I appreciate your willingness to share your candid thoughts and gut reactions to the questions. I tried to make the survey short but it still took you just over 15 minutes to fill it out, on average. I’m really humbled that you’d take that much time to answer the questions. It shows you really answered them thoughtfully and I’m grateful for that.

No More Mixed Signals

When it comes to relationships, it’s probably safe to say that most of the people reading this note subscribe to some form of “courtship” since just about ever guy selected that as the choice of the first survey question. However, in light of the other survey answers, it’s become obvious that many single guys who think they are pursuing a courtship model may produce some of dating’s negative effects as they interact with the opposite gender.Now, when I use the word “relationship,” it means that a guy and a girl have decided to get to know each other better specifically for the purpose of marriage. For anyone not familiar with the term “courtship,” this may sound a little extreme. But for others, this definition is too loose. Sorry about that if you’re on either side of the fence, but it’s apparent that this is the meaning of the word “relationship” for most of those who responded to the survey.

Your Survey Answers

Guys, when it comes to pursuing a girl you’re interested in, your first reaction is to pray about the relationship. Many also mentioned that you would seek counsel from spiritual authorities in your life like your parents and your pastor. These are definitely safe ways to go about opening a God-directed relationship with a girl.Another equally popular answer was some form of staying in contact with her whether through email, a social media site like Facebook, or engaging her in conversation if you live near each other. Some of you made it clear that you would try to increase this contact in a group setting so as not to arouse a girl’s suspicion that you’re interested in getting to know her better. In this way, you show that you respect her feelings and don’t want to give her the impression you’re interested without committing to the relationship.

What the Girls Want to Hear From You

In viewing the girls’ responses, though, maintaining direct contact with a girl because you’re interested while not committing to a relationship with her could have the opposite effect a guy may want. In other words, while subscribing to courtship, the guy’s mode of interaction could involve negative emotional elements that leave a girl confused even as she sees herself getting emotionally attached to the guy who is keeping in contact with her.Now, I’ll give you guys the benefit of the doubt because I didn’t include one option I should have when I asked you what you do when you’re interested in a girl. That’s because I’m a novice at formulating surveys. Anyway, there’s one answer that girls really want to hear if you’re going to stay in contact with her: Tell her your intentions! Why? When you stay in contact with a girl and increase communication with her via email, Facebook, or whatever, you open the door for her to become emotionally attached to you but you are sending her mixed signals about how you feel about her. This is even the case if you only want to be friends with her and have nothing else in mind.Girls want to know why you’re keeping in contact with them. Are you merely looking for a friend or do you have something else in mind? Until you let her know, she is going to wonder why you’re communicating with her and will be confused if you don’t tell her what you’re thinking.Letting her know your motivation for the interaction is incredibly important because as a girl shares more of who she is with you, she can’t help but become emotionally invested in this quasi-dating/courtship relationship. This isn’t her fault—it’s how God has wired her. But guys, if you really care about a girl and respect her emotions, you’ll let her know where you’re coming from. If you can’t do that for whatever reason, stop communicating with her for her sake.

Her Honor: Your Highest Priority

While approaching a girl on any level is simple, it can be hard to carry out because you may not want to risk losing the relationship altogether. However, either of these paths—backing off or revealing your intentions—is the best way for following the biblical mandate of treating her like a sister (1 Timothy 5:2), as opposed to getting her emotionally attached to you over an extended period of interaction.Really, your highest goal with any young lady should be to protect her honor. Some guys have decided that any kind of one on one contact with a girl could reflect badly on her so they’ve decided to limit their interaction with females to group settings. The guys who do this are very serious about listening to God for who he wants them to begin a relationship with and many have found “the one” while still maintaining a friendly distance around girls in general. Now, this approach will never win a popularity contest in today’s culture but it may be something worth considering if that’s how God is leading you.

Why You Might Be Afraid to Tell Her

I believe two deceptions motivate a guy to communicate with a girl he’s interested in without telling her he’s interested: pride and self-centeredness. Pride, because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s emotionally attracted to her or is simply afraid he might be rejected. There’s also self-centeredness because if a dude is half in/half out about how he feels, he may still want to “keep his options open” while he’s enticing a girl to get emotionally entangled with him. That’s not fair to her, guys.Now, I’m not telling you to do something I haven’t done myself in regard to girls I have communicated with regularly but was not sensing God’s leading to deepen our relationship. I've approached several girls this way and all the results have been positive. The girls respected where I was coming from and made it clear that if I needed to pull back in our interaction, that was fine with them. Most girls who responded to the survey don’t want to give the wrong impression to guys they aren’t interested in.A reality check is probably in order when it comes to a girl you’re not interested in but who feels comfortable staying in contact with you. She’s probably not falling head over heels for you (even though it may seem like it or you’d like to think so). Some girls are just friendly and like to stay in contact with a bunch of people. I’ve found this out by asking several girls that I seemed to be getting mixed signals from. Each was honest and made it clear that they haven’t had any motive except for us to get to know each other better.So guys, the ball’s in your court. You’ve heard what girls have to say about your interaction with them. Now it’s up to you to treat them with the respect they deserve. Let her know what’s going on in your heart or back off. And if God is clearly leading you to begin a long term relationship with her, just be honest with her. You might be surprised by the response you get.

Another part-

This ones for the girls :)

So, this is it. It's going to be a part of an article on who different singles are looking for in a potential spouse. This isn't the exact article b/c I needed to shorten that one. I guess this is the "expanded" version.I wanted to avoid this being a personal so I left out specifics since I'm not really "on the hunt." I don't expect a lot of comments after anyone reads this (if anyone reads it all) but anyone bold enough to share their thoughts gets major brownie points;-) BTW, none of the girls tagged in this note need to take any of this personally. I don't think I know any of you well enough for that. Well, I know Sharon pretty well but she defies explanation:-D

Here goes...I’ve run into three types of girls over the years—two of them kind of make me chuckle inside. I say that it’s a sort of chuckle because there’s a hint of sorrow that rises up in me as well. The third class I’ve observed always makes me stop and think. And smile.

Just Say Hi

Although I grew up in an ultra conservative homeschooling setting, I don’t spend a lot of time with ultra conservative homeschoolers anymore. However, I run into them from time to time. The type of girl I most often interact with in these circles is one of those that makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Actually, I should call these interludes “non-interaction” since most of these girls ignore my existence—or at least try to. I used to let them get away with such behavior but not any longer. Now I engage them in conversation or some other form of communication that helps loosen them up a bit.In some homeschooling spheres, interaction between guys and girls is viewed as either sinful or an initial pass at pursuing each other for marriage. This is sheer deception. God made the genders to challenge, edify, and add dimensions to their lives they couldn’t experience on their own. And there is a way to do this as a single person, which I could go into but that’s beyond the scope of what I’m writing about now. It just concerns and saddens me that many girls are afraid to engage the opposite sex out of fear that they’ll sin or that others will judge them for being immoral.Now, this tendency isn’t restricted to the ultra conservative crowd. I think it’s really just fear. In these circumstances, I always think, “Wow, do I look that fierce?” Several years ago I remember telling one girl that I wasn’t going to bite her—in other words, she really could sit near me with full confidence that she’d walk away in full safety. She didn’t understand.In other words, just get over yourself and say hi.

The Ferocious Female

There is a pendulum swing to the opposite end of the spectrum, though. This second class of girls I’ve resorted to calling “ferocious females.” This is the kind of girl that has it all backwards—instead of waiting to be pursued, she pursues. Really scary! Young ladies like this always make me want to run and hide because I realize that such a relationship is not how God intended guy/girl interaction to look like.I have to say that I appreciate energetic, engaging girls. What concerns me, however, is that with some young ladies, there’s a sense of discontentment with their singleness. When a girl is satisfied with the time of life that God has called her to live in, that’ll grab a guy’s attention, to say the least. That way, he’ll know that if this girl can flourish before marriage, she’ll do the same after she ties the knot. Every Christian single today hears from many quarters that marriage is not a remedy to discontentment with singleness. Girls who show that they don’t believe this by their actions and attitudes would do well to mature in this truth for one good reason—they may scare off the guy who would be their potential mate. Okay, that’s probably extreme but you get the point.

Looking for Sarah

This brings us to the type of girl that is very appealing and attractive. I like it when a young lady I meet takes the time to both talk and listen. People will always be able to talk about what interests them, what they’ve spent time thinking about. When I come across a girl who can speak to the passions that God has put in my heart, I get interested. Having a shared passion from the Lord is something that I know will take us beyond the high level of emotion that our relationship will begin with. That passion will keep us together for a lifetime.At least, I think so. Remember, I’m still single.My attention is piqued when a girl is walking in the freedom of Christ. The first two types of girl are locked up, each in their own way. The most attractive women I’ve met are those who are satisfied where they are yet open for more of what God has for them. This is a freedom only God can give. In away, I’m looking for one thing: confidence. A girl who has placed her confidence in Christ, who isn’t “afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:6) but resembles Sarah—that’s a girl that will make any guy turn his head. Including this one.Up to now, I can sum up in a word what means to follow God. It’s an adventure. When God brings that girl across my path that makes my heart flutter and makes me weak in the knees, I know that she’ll be willing to follow me as follow God on the adventurous path he lays before us together and has already been laying before me. A lot of guys will be satisfied with a typical life—work hard, play hard, raise a family, grow old. But for me personally, I know that God will bless me with these as well but it just may be in a different part of the world.For a lot of girls, thinking about raising a family without the support of her parents or a bunch of mature believers can be overwhelming. And that’s fine—God may not have called them to that. But what has he called them to? Like my happily married brother has told me, “Find a girl who is willing to follow. But be willing to give up as much as you’ve asked her to.” When the time is right, I know we’ll both be willing to do this. Really, we’ll want to sacrifice for each other. Even if that means living in a different hemisphere. Isn’t that what Sarah was willing to do? She followed even if she didn’t understand. She trusted God despite Abraham’s deficiencies. Sarah wasn’t afraid. Yeah, I’m keeping my eye out for Sarah.

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him

The power of silence.I have thought about it...I have tried to see how it works. it really is amazing, in the stillness of complete and utter silence you can hear so clearly. I know that it maybe has been different for people to not be constantly hearing my voice, but what have I to offer except the words that Jesus wants to pour out of my mouth. In order to know what those words are you have to go to the silent place with Him, it is where He speaks the clearest. Sigh..I have yet to be able to fully grasp this concept much less live this out. It is a most certainly a work in progress.

Go and listen to Him- He will speak.

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passion

Whew! God is so good all the time. Every day His mercies are new. I know that each and every day He is refining me and revealing more and more. I don’t know if most of you know about where I am staying at and what it is about. I am at the head quarters of the Institute in Basic Life Principles. Instead of explaining it just go to their website-maybe one day I will feel like telling you my view point of what the ministry means to me, but for now that should suffice. Every morning during the week we have staff meeting. Breakfast is now being served at 7:30 and the meeting starts at a quarter of 8. Mr. Gothard usually speaks in the mornings to us unless there is a guest or delegation in. The training lasts till about 9 (sometimes a bit shorter). The past week and now even starting into this week Mr. Gothard has been sharing a lot about the commands of Christ and also about the lies of the Enemy. God has been speaking directly to me each day-it has been so powerful. We are encouraged to take notes during the time Mr. Gothard is speaking (we are even provided with ‘meeting note’ paperJ..o boy!) Anyways, once I get my nots back form last week I hope to be able to put them together in some readable form so I can post them.
On Sunday the pastor taught about Passionately Obeying. We must obey for the right reasons-out of pure love-we must do it to show love.
Some ways that we are able to love one another is in deed and truth. Obedience is the key to the fulfillment of loving one another. When we are obedient we are engrafting truth, becoming confident before God, and we will gain an assurance that whatever we ask we shall receive. And even though we fail time and time again, He still desires us.
1 John 3:10-24

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learn

Training yourself to do something that you have never done before is a hard thing to do. God has been showing me things that I need to train myself in. Things like those in Titus 2- reverent, self controlled, kind, and pure. It takes time for those to become part of your life if they had not been there before. He gives grace to those that are humble and are willing to recognize that they can't do it on their own.

Something else that has been really powerful is that during the week we had the Speeds here. Paul and Jenny Speed - a husband and wife that is being used by God to reveal truth to couples and young adults. This truth is that of being open and broken before God and others. The topic one day was about believing the lies of the Enemy. I had heard this by them before last year at the Big Sandy conference. However, sometimes there are times when you JUST hear some one and you don't REALLY listen. As they spoke I knew God was wanting to talk to me and have me listen. I struggled with it the entire day. I knew I was believing a lie from Satan, but I couldn't pin point it. I was so frustrated and upset with myself. That night God told me what it was. It was like a dam broke in my life and it was so clear as to what the lie was. The entire night was spent listening God and letting Him replace that lie with truth. It took all the next day to be able to grasp all that He had been revealing to me. I know whom I have believed in and I am persuaded that He is able. "Freedom comes when you stop viewing yourself as a victim" Jenny Speed believed this to be very true. I thought about it for a while and I can see how it is true. If you start speaking life and telling yourself that in Jesus there is no condemnation and that 'he whom that Son sets free is free INDEED' you will be able to look past your circumstances and start living that out. But, if you continue to believe the lie that you will never be free and keep having pity parties for yourself, you most certainly will never know true freedom.

All in all it has been a week of learning, falling and getting up again, and letting God point out all the areas He wants. It is not easy, but who said taking up a cross is easy? "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me: Matt 16:24

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gripped

Fear.

It strikes into the heart of almost every person. You can't deny it, you have felt it before. This cold, icy feeling encompasses you and you know exactly what it is-fear. It may be the dark, spiders, heights, or death that constricts your mind. You feel dread and despair as you let it come over you.

That is just it-you let it take over you. You allow it to run your life and open the door for it to settle in.

Do not let the Enemy be able to snag a foothold in your life. He has come to steal, kill and destroy. He will stop at nothing in order to fulfill his calling. Do not open the door and shake hands with him next time he knocks.

How can you keep yourself guarded from this? Each fear (fear of evil,death,rejection,ect) can be traced to a root and is based on a belief system of your heart. In order for your heart to be protected you must guard it with truth. Instill His words into your heart and believe them. Speak life and allow it to saturate your life. Be so engulfed in His words that when the Enemy comes a knockin' you won't even give him a second glance. Be strong and be of good courage. Do not fear, for Jesus has not given us the spirit of fear but of a sound mind and love!

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pearl

"Speak not in the ears of a fool for he will despise the wisdom of thy words." Prov 23:9

A fool is incapable of understanding the 'pearls' of Gods wisdom.

Well, I know there are many questions to ask but my first one is, "What are considered pearls?"

Pearls are hidden in something ordinary but are of great value. They are formed from irritations; the longer the irritation, the more the pearl is perfected and treasured when discovered. They are very rare, fine, admirable, and valuable objects. Pearls are formed two different ways- in the wild or man made. You are able to tell the difference between a fake pearl and a real pearl just by the unique luster of a real pearl. Each pearls luster varies due to the reflection, refraction, and diffraction of LIGHT. Are we not to do the same for Jesus? We are do reflect His LIGHT into the world through our lives. (just thought was something extra cool there :) How a pearl is formed is a lot like how we are perfected through trials. The mollusks defense mechanism to a potentially threatening irritant, such as a parasite inside its shell is the process of secreting calcium carbonate and conchiol. It seals off the irritant and the process is repeated-producing a pearl. It must give of its self in order to produce the secretion, I found that interesting. Pearls can be found in many shells, but not all of them are of value. In fact, some pearls are considered to have little to no value at all. Why? Because of the way they are found at the end of the process of making them. Just like those pearls, we can be that way too. Each person is going to be different in the way they respond to a trial. Some will come out shining and their testimony will be of great value. Others will not see why they had to go through the hard times and when the trial is completed they will not be able to be seen as someone that has been reviled and has come through for the better.

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I don't know if you know how much God has done in my life. It really doesn't matter-me and God know and that is all that really matters. These are words not written by me, but they are right along the lines of what I would say. Read them and be encouraged by the depth and height of His infinite and ever lasting mercy.

I drug his name through godless places

And I've known shame that no child of his should know

I've seen pain on broken faces

Beyond all thought of hope

I was just too far from home

Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes

After all I've done

Could he run to me?

Would he kiss my face?

Could he even look at me?

After where I've beenshould he take me back?

I would understand I've disgraced him

But it would be amazing

If he still calls me son

With nothing left for me to bring him I left my pride and turned my heart toward home

I saw my home on the horizon

And from a distance I saw my Father

Watching for his own with forgiving eyes

After all I'd done

He just ran to me

Then he kissed my face

He would not let go of me

After where I'd been

He just welcomed me I didn't understand

But he put his robe on me

It was so amazing

That he still called me son

One day as I breathe my last

And I know my days on earth have ended

When every hour is spent

I will close my eyes in amazement

And I'll hear angels

They'll be singing Amazing Grace

Cause he will run to me

And he will kiss my face He will not let go of me

After where I've been He will welcome me I won't understand How he'll put his robe on me

It will be amazing

That he'll still call me son

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

When he calls me son I once was lost but now I'm found

Cause he calls me Son

- John Waller

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je t'aime

Well, a moment (but only a moment) of rest. It has been very busy here over the past couple of days. The single staff put on a Valentine banquet for the married staff on Valentines Day. It was tons of fun and it turned out to be a wonderful time. In order to have a wonderful time you must put work into it.
God never gives us more than we can handle. In talking with people it seems like we have been pushed way past a point that we ever thought we could. Maybe once we get pushed past this limit it will be easy to go on. It doesn't get easier. Why should it? Shouldn't we always be striving for a bigger goal? Something much bigger than our own strength? Personally speaking, I am a wimp. I don't think that I can be pushed any farther than I already am. However, GOD is the one who knows our true limitations. We just have to stop complaining so we can hear His voice telling us to stop and let Him take over. I don't know if this is making sense. I remember reading a verse telling us to go from strength to strength. I see that verse two ways. One way is that we go from our strength to His strength. We let go and let God take all our frustrations and cares because He truly cares for us. Another way I see it is this, we go in His strength to another level of His strength. Just when you think that there is no more, He gives an extra boost. Now, how to apply this to actual life instead of just reading this? I guess you have to be willing to let down all your expectations in other people and yourself. Also, the expectations that people have in you should not be a burdening thing because you should be just handing it over to God. If you can't do it just know that He can. We are hit from all sides at once it seems, but when we are hid in His strong tower nothing can harm us. Run to His arms, be embraced, let go. Finally, there has to be an eternal view. How is this going to effect me tomorrow, a year from now, or even ten years? Ride it out and just let Him have control. You will look back and see that he is the one who got you through it all.

Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young—a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;they are ever praising you. Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob. Selah
9 Look upon our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you

je t'aime

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surrender

Proverbs 3:21-24

My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight. Preserve sound judgement and discretion, they will be life for you; an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way to safety and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.

The above verse has nothing to do with what I am going to be writing....today's sermon was on surrender. Well, there was a lot of other things that were talked about but that was the main thing that stood out to me. In order to walk in the Spirit, which means to be completely controlled by the Holy Spirit, you must be completely surrendered. Why are we not jumping at the chance to let Him have our life? It is because of our pride and selfishness. We are too independent for our own good. We must let God work and take our hands off !! Surrender is not only half way-it must be ALL the way. Complete surrender. By the way-it is difficult. But, just as a righteous man falls seven times and still gets up again- so must we. It is a battle of fighting for surrender and striving to be obedient. A white flag comes to mind when I think of surrender. In a battle the white flag is raised, and if you think about it surrender also involves trust. The person raising their white flag has to have some trust that the other side will not take them out when they face them. They must trust their lives to that other person. It is also a humbling thing. Just think about it- you have been fighting this battle that you thought you could win. When you are faced with reality that you are not going to win and you must surrender, that is where the humbling part comes in.

So, this is what it boils down to. In order to walk in the Spirit you must surrender. In order to surrender you must have trust and be humble.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

baa

I found some notes I had taken at church way back in July...I just thought they were good :)

Where is God in the midst of this?

Think of Josephs story...he must have thought that a lot.

Jesus is right there behind you-beside you-around you...He is just waiting for you to take notice.

God wants to raise up a testimony right in the midst of the worst Satan can dish out, and He wants to use you.

Eph 1:1

Rom 8

God is sovereign

Do you have confidence? Step up and be bold.

More recent things that are really good -

Discretion

Prov 3:21-24

James 1:19

Prov 13:3 / 10:11-12

Psalm 37:1, 7-8

Sometimes our best statements are made by saying nothing at all.

We need to be wise as serpents - sheep among wolves.

Why would God send us out among the packs of wolves?

That question depends on the Shepherd. We need to keep ourselves from the voice of the world or else we will be called away and will be devoured by the wolves. A wise person stays close to the Shepherd.

We need to discern truth with our spirit-not with our mind.

Serpents do not have very good eyesight-they have to depend on other senses.

You need to listen and ask questions.

Examples-

Serpent in the garden

Jesus in the temple

They both listened intently.

Take it all in and think it through.

I know that the thoughts are not flowing as well as I would like them to, but it is good stuff :)

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

listen

The Power of Silence
It is so powerful, so unknowingly magnificent. Even a fool is counted wise when he says nothing. When words are spoken with much thought and care it is so much more meaningful. Which would you rather- many words spoken in haste and carelessness or one word spoken with passion and care. Mr. Gothard is writing a new book…I have the manuscript right in front of me. It is going to be called 49 Secrets of Power for Living. Basically it takes the Commands of Christ and connects them to sources of power. For instance, the command of ‘rejoice’ goes along with the power of praise.
One of the commands that I was looking at was “Do Not Caste Pearls”. It is being connected to the power of silence and asking questions. There are lots of good insights and views of how this can be powerful. With a lot of Mr. Gothards writings he takes a word and breaks it down to its original meaning. The word ‘understand’ is taken back to the Hebrew word shama-which means ‘hearing’. I just like being able to pick things apart like that and grasp the full meaning of it. God works in such awesome ways. I really didn’t know where I was going to go to church today. I had a couple of choices, either Mr. Gothards or the church in Mt. Prospect. I really wanted to go to the latter, but God told me not to. I came over to the staff center and we had a morning meeting and it was so good. The van ride to the church was amazing, just what God wanted for me today. Always be willing to listen to His voice. His words may come in abundance or they may consist of just one. Whatever the case is, listen and obey.

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in the end

It's Wednesday night..time for food and music in the Mail room. I am enjoying fried chicken and a shmorgusboard of various foods. Jordan was the master chef tonight. I don't think that any one but a southerner can make fried chicken the right way. It is pretty much amazing.

There is so much that I would like to say but I don't know here to begin. So much is swirling around in my head, thoughts and notions. One thing that I must say is that God is continually showing that HE is God ALMIGHTY. In every aspect of my life and with the people that surround me. No matter what, I can not deny that God is good in all things. No matter what circumstances come up I know that it doesn't matter-the petty things in life will not matter in the end. I am just finding that things get blown out of proportion and it is so not worth it. Just trust in Him and it will all be OK.

I have to think more about how I want to word the rest of what i so desperately want to say.

So...good night :)

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.tick.tock.

Today has been such an awesome day. I gave it over to Him and He totally took control of everything. It is funny how He is just waiting to do just that but we are the ones keeping Him from having total control. I have been told that whatever GOD wants you to accomplish in a day will get done. Nothing more and nothing less will happen when the day is GODs. He has given us an allotted time to have our day, I am sure that He knows what can and can not happen. We are the ones who are never satisfied with the time we are given. Either we complain that we have nothing to do and we just waste the time or we complain that there is not enough time to do all the things we think that we need to do. I had a talk with my nephew while I was at home over the weekend. It was so good, he was crying because he felt like the day the was for Grace's party could not include him in it with out him getting in the way(that is my interpretation of what he said) I asked him more about it and he brought up a time that his sister got to do something that he really liked to do but he was not able to do it. I asked why he couldn't and he replied that he was spending time with his gammie. I told him something that I am still having to learn myself. You can't do everything that YOU want to do. Sure, there are tons of things that I want and even try to do, but I can't be ten places at one time. It was a good conversation. I just don't want to ever forget that talk.

Like I said, it was such a good day because I gave it over to God and let Him lead me in what I should do. I didn't feel overwhelmed or stressed out-there was a peace....a peace that passed all my understanding. God is good - ALL the time.

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ready

Lord You are good and Your mercy endureth forever. You give, You take away. I will choose to say that You are good all the time.

We went to church today in Mt. Prospect. It was a really awesome church, the spirit there was powerful. You walk in and you know that God has His hand on this place.

Tomorrow starts a new week. I can't wait, I really can't. God has been so faithful and so good. This is going to be a good year :)

You know why I love being where I am at in my life? It is kind of hard to really put into words, but I will try. This is a time of total service to God, that is all I have to worry about for the time being. It is great just knowing that I have only to love God. I love loving Him. The way that He speaks to me is unique everyday. He is so good.

I think that tonight is a good night to turn in early and get prepared for tomorrow.

Your love is extravagant

Your friendship, it is intimate

I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace

Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place

Cause Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin

No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend

Capture my heart again

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coram deo

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. There is none. I stand firm in that truth and waht it means to me. What does it mean to me? It means to me that we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

When I am weak, He makes me strong; when I am blind, You shine your light on me. I will never get by living off my own ability.

Today has been a grueling day. Up since six, started work at eight, and still going...

We were able to go to Famous Daves today for a celebration! It was just good to be able to spend time with everyone and just relax. There was so much laughter and smiles around the table. It was a good night :)

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

the word is alive

God is so good all the time. He is indescribable and who am I that He would bestow His goodness on me?! It was so cool today how He showed how in control He was. It may seem to others that not a whole lot was accomplished today, but God knew exactly what needed to get done and how much was needed. As I type I am watching the amazing people He has put in my life just enjoy each other. It is so awesome how He has placed us together. Even after a long day working together we still enjoy being around each other.

You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek. That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to meditate in HIS temple. For in the day of trouble HE will conceal me in HIS tabernacle; in the secret place of HIS tent HE will hide me, HE will lift me up on a rock.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord” apart from You I have no good thing. To be honest, I have no good thing beside Him. What else could surpass His greatness? The answer is that nothing can or ever will. I thought a lot about that verse today. Days go by so much better when you have God on your mind. Sure, there was a pounding head ache, but God was still there.
Today was a day of sitting at the computer and staring at it. It was a day of trying to understand what was written down on papers and then entering in. It was a day that God let me know how much I needed Him. I really needed Him today and He was there.
I think why I am having such a hard time trying to come up with something to say is because my mind has been fried today from work. The best thing that I could do right now is to stop typing and just go to bed.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

if its all the same to you

You know what is so awesome? When God confirms something with you that you knew was right but His confirmation makes it all the more better. Isn’t it great to open up your Bible and there it is, the confirmation. It is usually in a place that you wouldn’t expect but it is so clear. Well, that is what happened tonight (or actually this morning) and provoked this writing.
It has been great being back in Chicago. I love it here and have such a peace about it that it even has taken me by surprise. I was able to talk to someone tonight and hear their thoughts on this subject. It is so great to know that God is working not only in yourself but in others as well. May I say that God is good-He is SO good.
This week so far has been very, well, full. Not physically but spiritually and mentally as well. I was fasting when I came back, some cleansing fast that is supposed to be great for you. (I laugh) Mom and dad are doing it as well, and I lasted for ALMOST five days…hope you guys are doing it! This week has also been the start of our year end inventory. We not only count our items once but also twice! Possibly a few items a third if they have not been counted correctly the first two times. Well, Monday is the day we start with. It was a great day, and then the power went out. We waited in the pitch black and then finally when it did come on we were able to do a lot of prep and begin counting. Tuesday was a great day, and then the fire alarm blares out. It left us watching four fire trucks pull up along with the police and ambulance. Don’t worry; it was just oily rags that mysteriously caught on fire in a trash bin. It was great fun and it also reeked. Wednesday we were able accomplish a lot. No surprises except for two wonderful egg nog pies that were delivered to us in the mail room! Today was an amazing day. A van of 13 people from Indianapolis Training Center arrived to help with inventory. We finished the ENTIRE first count of the ENTIRE inventory. We were even able to begin the second count! Thank you Jesus! He is so good to us. Today was a great day..we prayed...the auditor came..the Indianpolis group left and we went to Emmys.
In conclusion I finish with this, go open your Bible. See what He wants to tell you.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Unknown |

EZ Photography

Carpe Diem::Seize the day

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About Me

I am living a euphoric life. Capturing brilliance and breathless moments is my passion. I would love to share in the unforgettable ones in your life.

From walking the dirt roads on foreign soil to capturing the memories of a life time.
I am passionate about catching the details often overlooked, freezing the moments that take your breath away, and painting the souls of people that surround me.
I have captured countless images across Peru, Europe, and the United States
"Have Camera, Will Travel to Exotic Places."

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If interested in contacting me please use the following.

Phone: 630-352-8939

Email: regisfilia7@gmail.com

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him

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je t'aime

surrender

baa

listen

in the end

.tick.tock.

ready

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if its all the same to you

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