Deep breath....finally a break in the midst of insanity. Or so I think...

It is the last of our old computer system, the final push to end on a good note. It is hard and feels like you can bearly breath, but everyone down here is doing amazing! There is talk of having to push back the dead line because we may not be able to make it, I think we can:) Watch out world-here we come!

I am reading a book called Captivating by John and Sheri Elderidge. Most excellent and I recommend it. Another book that I am reading is called Believing God for His Best. So often our best (or so we think) gets in the way of God's best. By submitting our desires, thoughts, dreams, and hopes to Him we are able to be used by Him and be led in His way which will lead to His best for us. Untill we lay down ourselves we can not begin to follow Him. It means, I guess to me that I have to become humble and let down my pride in thinking that I know what God's best is. It also is connected with being content. I am sure taht there are many more things that I have not yet come to realize yet, but I am still learning and open to what God is wanting to show me.

Have you ever told God that you are willing to do something and then when it actually happens you are wondering why you are having to go through this? Well, that happened to me recently and now that my break is over I will have to write about it later:)

Phil4:11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength

Falling…
It's night, a perfect crescent moon contrasts the dark sky, millions of glimmering stars fill the surrounding back drop as I walk through an opening in the midst of wooded lands. The sound of crunching leaves and infrequent howl of distant coyote are the only that pierce the perfect stillness. The leaves adding to the freedom of the moment, lie in thick carpet, as if welcoming in any direction; their unique and beautifully nostalgic scent hanging in the fresh cool air… becoming richer every moment as dew moistens their range of shape and color.
These leaves, only a few short days ago stood as the high-lifted glory of many a mighty oak, poplar, and vine, the life of each now distinctively fading, are the objects of many a playing child's glee. The same will continue to break down, and become nothing more than a part of the very soil in which their former bearer stands rooted.
Tree and vine stand stripped and apparently lifeless, as if deserted in the darkness, each casting long shadow across the open ground and over the now dead and dying leaves that once filled their branches. My mind races forward… temperatures drop as fall gives way to winter; the season's first snowflakes fly, bringing with them the shock of startling cold. However, what now jolts the entire being of every plant, tree and flower with stinging chill, will soon become a covering of both of warmth and protection. These which the initial cold flakes jolt, will become their protectees. As each faces a lonely fight for survival against the deadly freeze, they will find rest beneath blanket upon blanket of the very flakes they now despise.
A gentle breeze wisps through the stillness, and then Father's voice, calm almost musical taking precedence in my consciousness. "I Am…I am the Vine, you are a branch, I emptied myself that my joy might be in you and your joy might be full, if you will but lose your life you will find Life. I discipline every son I receive, because I love you, it is for your protection. Will you lose your life? Stand exposed in humility and honesty in order to discover the blossoming power of my Life through deeper levels of intimacy?"
The air is cooler now, the dew soaked leaves have a cold yet delicate white trim as frost begins to thicken across the ground. I notice as my footsteps become visible that next to my own lay those of feet much larger, yet they have never taken longer stride. He could have walked much faster than I, yet I get the impression it is not the walk He is interested in but rather being by my side.
"My son, do not walk as a child, but rather accept the fact you are one. Accept you childhood, my Fatherhood, and walk in the delight of our relationship."
Hearty and joyous laughter fills the night as He playfully throws me up into the cool air; His arms outstretched to catch me… I am falling…

~Written by C. Matlock

The hardest part of holding on is letting go...

I am finding this out as I am here at Head Quarters. God has brought life changing people into my life and and has also taken them away. I don't understand sometimes why He does it, but I know that if those people had not been brought into my life that I would not be who I am today. They each have invested something in my life that I never would have if they wouldn't have passed through my life. I thank God for each person that He has allowed me to have be my friend. The Lord gives and takes away, I will say blessed be the name of the Lord. It is hard and I may not feel like saying it all the time, but I still say it. Why? Because He knows better than I do, He knows the plans He has for me and they are for me to prosper-not to harm me. I need encouragement-lots of it. Please pray for me..pray for those who are leaving and that God will work through their lives wherever they are lead to go.

let it be said of us while we walked among the living

let it be said of us by the ones we leave behind

let it be said of us that we lived to be a blessing for life

let it be said of us that we gave to reach the dying

let it be said of us by the fruit we leave behind

let it be said of us that our legacy is blessing for life this day

You set life, You set death right before us,this day

every blessing and curse is a choice now and we will choose to be a blessing for life

let it be said of us that our hearts belonged to Jesus

let it be said of us that we spoke the words of life

let it be said of us that our heritage is blessing for life

for Your kingdom, for our children for the sake of every nation…

What will be said of us when we are no longer here? Not just in the sense of us dying and leaving this world, but what about moving, leaving places and people behind? What will be said of us at the moment we are no longer there? Will Jesus be remembered? Will the impact we leave behind reveal the glory of God? Will they love Jesus more after all is said and done? It is something to think about, I know it is something I need to think about and something that I need to live out.

Today was a lazy autumn day-perfect to spend at Starbucks! When we returned to the mail room after being in New York we found a gift card that was given annonymously to us. We are deeply indebted to them. I msut say that their new Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate is absolutely divine!!!

Pray that I will be an example to those around me and that Jesus will be the One that is remembered

I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.' Phil: 4:13

Here I am in New York!!! I came up on last Thursday for Luke and Karen's wedding.
Thursday morning I woke up and headed off to the Big Apple. We left around ten in the morning and a few rest stops later we arrived at our destination around eleven at night. The house is the best-a old farm house with a big red barn. We are packed out with the people staying in the house, but that is what memories are made of:)
Friday was a great day to sleep in and then go prepare for the rehearsal. A group of us went to the church to decorate for the reception. I could tell this was going to be a great wedding, all the people helping out were having fun and just enjoying each other. That evening was the rehearsal dinner. The house was inspiring, can you believe that there was a room attached to the kitchen that was the kids ballroom?! The kids of the family competed in ballroom dancing. Later in the night we watched their competition videos-they were amazing!!! Anyways, it was Nicole,Shannon, Sarah, and I that served at the rehearsal dinner. It was a spread of delicious Asian food that made your mouth water just looking at it:) Between Sarah Brown, Shannon, myself, and Sarah Ramey we played piano throughout the night. The Kallberg family also sang for the crowd. The atmosphere was electrifying with laughter, music, the aromas of the food and if you closed your eyes it took you away...
Saturday-the BIG day that everyone had been waiting for had finally arrived. The ceremony was at two, groups of us caravanned over to the church around one thirty. To sum up the weeding would be impossible, but let me tell of its uniqueness. As the family was seated a classical guitar was playing Fairest Lord Jesus. A trio accompanied by a Chinese instrument and piano sang while the bride made her way down the aisle. Throughout the ceremony instead of a soloist singing we were lead in worship songs. No kiss was announced but of course there was one:) It all ended with us singing Holy is the Lord. The reception consisted of announcing the couple, a first dance, cutting of the cake and then mingling. A slide show was played with a mix of great songs that summed up the day. The food was awesome. Lots of little desserts and appetizers which surprisingly filled you up completely. After the party died down we took of to Lake Ontario to see the sunset. Breathtaking can only scratch the surface of describing it. From the beach it was off to TGI Fridays for some down time and good food:) No sooner were we finished with our appetizing meal we were asked to go bowling. Again we were off to first of all Starbucks for a little pick me up and then we hit the lanes. It was so much fun, kind of funny however because some of us were not smart enough to bring a change of clothes. I was one of them, bowling in my lovely black dress with hideous bowling shoes sticking out like a sore thumb. Oh well, those things you won't forget. The night ended after 4 this morning after watching a movie. It was a full day and looking back on all that we packed into it makes me think that we were utterly insane!!!
Today was the after party, which started at two this afternoon and will probably last long into the night. We head back tomorrow, maybe then I will be able to catch up on some sleep:) Don't worry mom and dad, I am still healthy and alive(I have not passed out yet:)

The carriers have been closed, the packages have been sent out, and the madness has come to an end. It has been a long week, a good week but long. I love looking around the office and seeing Sam and Jordan talking geometry, then looking over at Nicole enjoying her root beer...it all is peaceful and a time of enjoyment.

Have I mentioned that I have been attending police classes every Wednesday night? It is a thing that our Hinsdale Police department puts on every year for the community to become involved in the police station. I have been able to learn the requirements that you need to meet in order to be a policeman, then last week we learned how to negotiate(it was very intense by the way) AND tomorrow I am going to be going for a ride along for about 4 hours in a squad car. I am excited...it is going to be a long night(from about 9pm to 1am)but hopefully it will be eventful. Don't worry mom and dad-if it gets too intense the officer will drop me off in a safe location:)

I can't believe that I have almost been here at IBLP head quarters for almost a year! It doesn't seem like it has been that long, but that is a good thing. Some old people came through and it was good to see them, reminisce, and enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

By the way the picture up to the right is from when we went to the wedding...it is Nicole,me, and Minch Minchin.

Pray for me that I will be able to trust God in every single detail-not trying to take things into my own hands. He knows better.